Calling it Agile does not make it so

At my work about 7 years ago there was a big push to turn our process into "XP / Agile". It's been an interesting ride but at this point I don't consider what we do "agile". True, we've taken some ideas from the agile methodology, but very few of them have stuck. The thing that I find the most funny is that some co-workers believe that we're fully XP - which I am amused by because I think that we never were. I was discussing this with a co-worker (CW) today and the conversation went like this:

CW: But we're doing Agile things like standups.
Me: How many chairs do you use?
CW: All of them...
Me: Then it isn't really a standup, is it?

I'm not trying to be a jackass, really I'm not. The fact that people aren't following the steps that are in the name of the activity without realizing how they are deviating from the process boggles my mind. Just calling something "agile" does not make it so. Imagine going to a car dealership and buying a BMW and they show up with a ford focus - "But hey, it's got 4 wheels and a windshield, it's pretty much the same thing! Tell all your friends that you drive a BMW! Vooommm!"

If you're driving a ford focus, it's better to just tell people that. Then at least you're all on the same page. If you're telling people that you drive a BMW and then find out about your ford focus, then you'll lose any credibility that you had. It'll just add to confusion and doesn't help anything. You could argue that it'll help you get a new job (because it's a buzzword) but in the interview they'll probably suss out your answers and figure out that you don't understand the terminology of your industry.

*sigh*

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, we shouldn't call it an Agile Frog. It just confuses people with images of a duck-frog-hybrid. (I hope that image stays in your mind all day.)