Tough times

 I go through waves of despair. I can't help it. Exercise helps which Laura knows so she pushes me out the door for bike rides. But it usually feels like it starts to close in again. I'm still doing better than I was before in the pandemic. At one point I... I just didn't want to be awake anymore. It was too much. I just couldn't deal with everything or anything at all.

Now? I feel listless. It doesn't help that what I have to do at work seems unfocused. I want to help the team get things done, but for getting into the nitty gritty I don't have the background. For the things that I do have the background for, I'm really not supposed to be helping too much. For the work that I spent 10-15 years working on? It's being abandoned. Not transitioned off of like we had planned. Just straight up abandoned. And they are re-creating the same thing more or less without knowing or paying attention to any of the lessons learned. It's tough to watch but I'm trying not to care too much since it's out of my control. It seems that work is marching towards disaster with a bunch of people saying that this is bad, but because the funding is split between so many groups no one wants to take on the responsibility. No one is given the authority to take it on.

So I fall back to trying to make sure the family has a good dinner and a caffeinated father. The second being the most important.

We will see how things go. Maybe I need to switch teams. Maybe I need to do something else.

We will see how I am tomorrow.

Shots booked, weekly colds

 We have the kids shots booked for Wednesday. I'm not sure if we'll actually make it though because we seem to be suffering from a cold weekly. Like, this would suck on a normal year, but this isn't. And there's news of some omicron variant. Honestly, I never wanted to learn the Greek alphabet like this.

I'm hoping the the cold will just stay as a runny nose and clear up quickly because otherwise I think we'll have to reschedule, at least for Lucy.

It sounds like places even have walk-in appointments for the 5-11. This gives me hope.

I feel like we're close. Yes, new variants might throw a wrench into things, but hopefully we'll still be moving in the right direction.

Vaciness approved for kids 5-11

The COVID shots were approved for the 5-11 kids, which thankfully covers all our kids. This started when Lucy was 3 and I said I figured that she's "age into" the age ranges, and... yep. :-/

I'm excited about the kids getting it. Appointments open on Tuesday and first shots will go in on Friday. But with this provincial government it'll be hunger games trying to find appointments.

I'm totally going to cry when the shots are in the kids. I don't think that I'll be able to help it.

Alice isn't as worried about the shot. Isaac is excited "because we'll be able to go in people's houses!". I didn't get a strong reaction from Lucy. Really, COVID is really all she has known. I'm not sure she how much she can remember from when she was 3.

I'm worried that about the perception that the pandemic is over. I really get that vibe from adults once they've gotten their shot. We probably have 2-3 months (at least) before the kids have had both their shots. Even then, it won't be over, especially for the rest of the world. I find many people are way less cautious than we are. I feel I'm more cautious than most. I know what it's like not to be able to breathe. I'm not sure how many other people know what that terror feels like.

We went out the other day for a lunch and had a lovely time on the patio in the snow. I am pretty sure that the staff thought that we weren't vaxxed since we asked to eat outside (and would avoid the vaccine passport check). When I went inside to go to the bathroom there was like 6-8 booths / tables of 2-4 people eating, some back to back. Just no. That's not for me.

Give me the hallmark winter scene with my lovely any day of the week.

602 days and counting

The last time I went to work in the office for the day was March 12th, 2020 (I'm pretty sure). We went to lunch. That was the last day that I ate inside with someone that wasn't in my household.

Not family. Household.

We have been pretty good and strict about not eating indoors with others. I feel that we've been lucky and hopefully the luck will carry us for the next bit. The current rumour is that vaccines for kids 5-11 will approved in the next couple of weeks and public health says that they will be able to vaccinate all kids in 4 weeks. It feels so close.

Although I enjoy the patio season with winter hats and gloves, one day it will be nice to have a fancy meal indoors.