Everything I learned about parenting, I learned from Jurassic Park

While taking care of our new arrival, I've been able to apply the lessons from Jurassic Park while taking care of her:

• If you don't move, she can't see you


• You don't want to be trapped in a locked car with a hungry / angry baby


• Her claws can rip you to shreds if you're not careful


• When you think that you've got her all cleaned up and then she starts to pee or poop on you. Clever girl.


• "Anybody hear that? It's a, um... It's an impact tremor, that's what it is... I'm fairly alarmed here." - that's when you know you're in deep shit because she's just filled her pants. Again.


• If you take don't care of things, you know that the babies are going to run wild and someone's going to have to call in the government to take over


• Even having an all female population of babies, you know that somehow when you turn your back there is going to be more.


• She can't open doors. Yet...

Things to remember

It's funny, but I'm forgetting simple things some days. I had to check the calendar the other day to see what day Alice was born. I can't imagine what I'll have forgotten by the time she's one, let along 20.

Some of the things that I'm sure to forget is how she crosses her legs at her ankles (right over left), her clumsy headbutts or how she can go from severe rage to calm baby in a couple of seconds. I think that she gets that last part from me. :-/

I still don't understand how anyone would have thought that I'm responsible enough to have a child. I keep on expecting an official to show up and ask for proof of my maturity and me trying to hide the lego and not be wearing a t-shirt that makes me giggle. Either way, I think that we all have a lot still to learn.

Cheating somehow

I feel like we're cheating somehow with both Laura and I off and looking after Alice. Aren't we supposed to be at our wits end by day 8? I think that everyone is quite happy so far with us being able to tag team and work at getting things done. I can't imagine how difficult it would be with a new child by yourself. It wouldn't be fun.

I feel very lucky with our setup. I feel we're doing something that most people would never get the chance to do and in a way I feel a bit guilty about that. But there is no way that I'd ever pass up this opportunity to be at home with my girls for so long.

And now we are three

Last Thursday we welcomed the arrival of Alice, 7 lb 10 oz at 03:37. It was the first snow fall of the season when Laura went into labour, a wet snow. So far Alice has been wonderful and we're starting to get into the rhythm of being a parent. I think that means "making it up as you go" and "rolling with the punches" all at the same time.

The word "labour" seems so inadequate to describe the process. It reminds me of a old Dave Barry joke where he said "boating enthusiast" was an understatement like saying "heroin fancier". I actually found it quite upsetting at seeing someone I love be in so much pain but not be able to do anything about it except fetch ice chips. It was a feeling of helplessness, but like all things, it too did pass.

So now we're all home, working on feeding, clothing and changing a baby. As a family. Of three.

38 weeks

I feel a bit silly counting the weeks like I have been, but I can't really help it. I am now one of those annoying people. Help me if my posts become just about naps and fluids coming out of orifices of my offspring. Help me, but forgive me.

I feel like the days are counting down to an almost surprise party. I'm not sure when I'm going to turn a corner and Laura's going to yell "surprise! I've wet myself!" Not exactly the type of party most people are surprised with. I just hope that there is balloons and cake.

Tick tock.

Pay attention

One of the things that I don't want to be is one of of those fathers that has a bluetooth ear bud in while he's watching his kids play. I want to be focused on the present, the now, the "right in front of me". The extreme little that I know about buddhism (attachment to desires) makes sense to me. The posts today on boingboing / google+ about "multitasking" or continuous partial attention remind me a lot of the buddhism philosophy.

In layman's terms I think that this translates into:
- go for more walks with my loved ones
- enjoy a hot beverage and focus on the people in front of me
- with kids, put down the camera / take my eyes off the screen more.

If I'm really good at it, no one will ever notice all my effort. Bwahahahaha!

What's one more...

My boss informed me of an interesting Portuguese expression: O que È um peido para quem est· cagado. It translates into "What is another fart when you've already shit your pants".

I laughed and laughed... such an awesome visual when dealing with yet another problem on something that's just full of them. Much better than talking about the broken windows theory.