Somehow sick

I don't know how it's possible that I got sick. No one else appears to be sick. Sure, I splashed around in icy water for hours digging trenches so that the water drains from the driveway so that the garage door can close and the kids can bike again and no one will slip and fall on the ice, but nothing that could have gotten me sick, right?

(it wasn't that bad, I just got wet boots)

We have a new addition to the family: a pick axe ⛏️. I'm calling him Mr. Pickles (yay helpful person on twitter). Super, super useful for digging trenches in the ice to get the water to drain. Much nicer for blunt force ice damage than my straight edge shovel for the short ice breaker which is designed to send shock waves directly up your wrists into your arms.

Other than that not too much new.

I'm still stressing about if I want to move on from work. It... it doesn't feel good at work. It just makes me sad. Sure, it could be we're near the end of the winter and I haven't exercised at all, but... but it's not just me. Ah well. Meeting tomorrow.

Thinking about work

Work is work. But lately it's been stressful with the feeling of making very little progress. I feel that everyone has been stretched too thin, pulled in too many directions. No one is happy and it kind of sucks. My buddy Andrew that I have worked with for like 15 years has taken a 1 year leave and gone to the private sector. Other talented people I know have as well. People keep on asking me if I will leave as well.

Will I? I don't know. I'm worried about a work life balance. I've enjoyed having a super flexibility schedule to be able to drop everything and leave if I need to do something for the kids.

I enjoy helping the people at work. I enjoy feeling like I know the answers right away. Is it a good thing to not really be challenged? My biggest challenge lately seems to be finding someone to go for coffee. Sure, there's a ton of work with impossible deadlines, but I feel impossible deadlines are a failure of project management not my work. Deadlines and goals are supposed to be attainable.

Honestly the best thing about work is the people. I really like the people that are there and if I move on, that would be a hard thing to leave.

This is going to take up a lot of my brain space in the next while I think.

A new plan for updates

I've been unhappy with how much I've been blogging / creating lately. It's been making me sad, not because I'm missing out on the act of blogging, but because I won't be recording the moments with the kids. I'm going to try to resolve to make Monday's A Blogging Day™.

The kids are good. They seem to be pretty much the same, but in truth they aren't. They are growing and getting better at stuff all the time. They are sort of sleeping in until 5 or 5:30 most days. Lucy still enjoys crawling into bed and pushing me until my heads in a drawer. Classic. But I'm starting to feel not like a zombie anymore. I was saying to Annie at work today that I've felt much better this last year. The face she gave me I can only describe as bitch please face. Apparently I was regularly zombie like in December, so I guess this is a ton of progress.

Alice is doing really well. She's far too clever for me. One of her friends at school has felt... toxic? She seems to be guarding herself against that friend which I'm happy about. She's been doing Brownies and loves it. She just got back from a two night (!!!!) sleep over Camp Woolsey way out Dunrobin way. The weather for pickup was horrible with freezing rain and then rain, so the roads were partially flooded on the way back. Not to worry though, we stopped for coffee and donuts.

Isaac is four, almost five, so that means he still has troubles with his big feelings. He'll rage, smash things, hit people, etc. But when he's calm, he'll come over for either crushing hugs or "dinosaur hugs" where he nuzzles his head against your side or head. It's very sweet. He's the kind of person that will give you the coat off his back, even if it's -30 just so you can warm up. So sweet. Then he smashes something else and / or runs away. So, it balances out a bit. He's in Little Kickers soccer right now and he loves it. He really does need to do active stuff to be happy.

Lucy is the sweetest thing right now. Loves being held (too much when I'm trying to do school pickup). She's playing well with both the other kids. Loves to tidy up and clean - cleans up Isaac's messes! She loves playing with her babies and dollies. But she's not Alice, and she's not Isaac. She's Lucy. She loves pink and purple, but has to have something with pockets. Ideally paired with a Thomas the tank engine shirt. Pockets + Thomas isn't usually pink. A week or two ago Laura said "I'm done with diapers. We're potty training her". I was nervous, but Lucy has done extremely well. I was doing something with Alice tonight, Isaac had to go pee and Lucy went in, pulled down her pants, and peed by herself. Cue the fireworks.

Laura continues to be super awesome. Not a day goes by where I'm not amazed that I get to spend time with such a wonderful, kind, beautiful, fun person. I'm not just typing that because she's sitting beside me. It's because it's true. I feel very lucky, every day.

That's it for now.

Snow day

Today was a snow day, the first of the season. I was going to be off with Lucy anyways, so what's another 2 kids.

Things are generally good. A close friend at work has decided to leave the GoC. Lucy is super cute with her songs and piggy tails. Alice continues to be sharp as a whip in grade 2. Isaac is getting used to JK but with the long days, at the end he's Just Done™. Laura continues to be super awesome.

With the weather getting colder, we're not biking anymore. I was hoping to be taking the LRT by now, but it doesn't look like it will be operational until it's almost biking weather again. Biking continues to be the fastest way in and out of downtown compared to driving or bus.

I wish that I was blogging more, but usually by the time the kids are in bed and all the stuff that we need to get done is finished (or not even that), I'm just so, so done and I wouldn't be able to write anything coherent. Isaac is generally sleeping much better and staying in his room all night. Lucy... well, so either makes her way into our bed at 11, 1, 3 or some other random time. Sleeping in our house isn't smooth yet, but it's getting there. It's a long road.

I'm just going to sit here on the couch a little longer while the instant pot cooks dinner, the snow gently falls, and I sneakily eat stolen kids Halloween candy. nom nom nom...

A great date

The other night we went out for a date. Laura has been making sure that we go about once a month, for sanity, for marriage maintenance, for a chance to eat our own meal without cutting up someone else. It has been good.

The other night we went out to the tavern on the falls (by bike of course). It was lovely and we had a nice time. The view is great and as the temperature turned cooler, they offered blankets. Nice touch.

Lovely sunset

Lovely company

We thought that there was something to do with lights on Parliament, so when we were done we moseyed over to the hill and arrived 2 minutes before the show started. It was nice and I was happy we went.

Lovely lightshow

After that we wanted treats (of course) but the coffee shops were mostly closed, the market would have been too busy. We both had a little bit of a cold, and I was tired by this point so I suggested we head home. Know what was on our route home? Yes, the Palestinian Festival and they have treats, so we stopped.

Lovely treats

It seemed that everything just worked out while on that date. Good times.

Cottage Life

We spent some time at the cottage after the long weekend. It was fun and I'm very happy with the moments we had together.

I took Alice out in the back hatch of the kayak and paddled down to twin rocks. I stopped paddling and we drifted close to a loon and her 2 babies. It was the closest I've ever been to a loon - I could see the spots on it's back without my glasses. She dove under us and swam to the opposite side from her babies and called to draw us away. We carefully headed away and then I went out with Lucy sitting with me. I kept us much, much farther away but the mom did the same trick again. Lucy was very happy to see the "baby balloons".

Another time the 5 of use paddled over to "poopy island" and went exploring there. Another time we all went out in kayaks to the swamp. Lucy was with Laura and Lucy feel asleep right away. Alice cried and didn't want to paddle so she held onto the big red kayak and I towed / dragged her kayak all the way down the lake. At the end she was paddling so quickly I had trouble catching up with her.

One of the nights Laura and I went out and lay down on the dock to look up at the shooting stars. We watched the milky way and the huge lightening off to the east. We were brave with the sounds of the dangerous carnivorous squirls that were hunting us (spoiler: we got away). I miss the stars. I wish that we could often go outside and just look up at the wonder that is all around us.

We spent a lot of time swimming, jumping off the dock (not Isaac or Lucy). Alice jumps with reckless abandon and is so good with all the kids - "Oh look, there are fishies!". Isaac "jumped" off the lowest rung of the ladder which is a big improvement over not going in the water at all. Lucy had a good time in the water but insisted that she wore her lego crocs. When she would get in, she'd say "I did it!" with immense pride.

It was a good time.

Just floating along

Constantly on the lookout for more fishies

It's all about the form. Grace, beauty, huge splash. She's got it all.

Kayak passengers are best passengers.

The Western Fleet. Alt title: 5 people, 3 kayaks.

Mr Smiles.

Showing grandma the frogs they caught.

Uncle Phil and Isaac in perfect form.

Similarities and Differences

I love watching the kids and seeing how they react to things. How they view the differently from their siblings and how they might view them the same.

Alice keeps surprising me with how smart and clever she is. Not like book smart (even though she may be that as well), but how she can figure out things with only the barest of clues. How she can separate truth from fiction. She's going to be a hard one to fool with magic tricks. She loves cuddles, but on her own terms. During a cuddle you're likely to get a flailing elbow or foot to your face.

Isaac has clearer cause / effect feelings and actions. He needs his cuddles, his attention. When he doesn't get them he physically hurts someone or something. I've got a lot of things that I need to glue together. He'll say "You look beautiful today" to anyone and means it. The moment we're out of eyesight of Laura, or even before, he'll say how he misses her very much. However he can also drive me nuts. Example: the other day he snuck inside the neighbours unoccupied and unlocked house. I thought that he was there but he wouldn't come when I called. He was hiding under the 7yo's blankets in bed. That was a wasted 35 minutes. shakes fist at sky

Lucy is a happy child but is very vocal if she's protecting something or wants something. She'll give a running hug like her big brother. She's sporty like Isaac too. She loves shoes and clothes like Alice. She's a tidy baby and doesn't want things to be a "mess". She'll try to collapse my windpipe while I'm trying to get her to sleep just to make sure that I remember who's boss. Unlike her siblings, when I make a hand puppet she looks at my face rather than my hand.

They are all a joy. They are all different.
And they have a plan.

(wait, is that the children that have a plan or the cylons?)