Goodbye Ryan

I can't believe that I'm saying goodbye to another friend who left us in November. I found out yesterday that Ryan Lowe had passed away. There's a place on facebook where people can share stories and grieve.

I knew that Ryan was having a rough time, but I had no idea that he was so, so sick. Like with Betty, I should have visited recently. Email wasn't enough. I should have just gone. I shouldn't have made any excuses to myself - "tonight's not a good night", "tomorrow won't be enough notice". I feel like I've been run over by a truck, and I feel that I deserve every treadmark. For someone that had taught me so much, been such a good friend, I feel that I let him down when he needed support.

I feel so guilty and ashamed.

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Ryan was such a clear thinker. He'd quickly be able to move things into categories like "not worth my time". When we'd go to Tim Hortons at SITE, he leave all the pennies on the tables because he figured that they weren't worth his time.

Most of all he seemed to be passionate about everything that he did. Programming, sports, chillaxing - he never seemed to do anything half way. He's the one that got me into TDD. He seemed to have so much patience (trying to) teaching me ruby on rails.

He's been the one hosting this blog for over 6 years. He's the guy who got me to use a mac. He's the one that was always pushing for better. He's been my model developer.

I can just picture him doing one of his start-high-handshakes, smile, turn and walk away.

Goodbye Ryan. Safe journey.