The Good Husband's Guide

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for her return. This is a way of letting her know that you have be thinking about her and are concerned about her needs. Most women are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially her favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when she arrives. Touch up your deodorant, zip up your pants and be fresh-looking. She has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little silly and a little more interesting for her. Her boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your wife arrives. Push some of the crap into a corner and hope she doesn't notice.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for her to unwind by. Your wife will feel she has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for her comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of her arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see her.
• Greet her with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please her.
• Listen to her. You may have a dozen important things to tell her, but the moment of her arrival is not the time. Let her talk first - remember, her topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening hers. Never complain if she comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand her world of strain and pressure and her very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your wife can renew herself in body and spirit.
• Don’t greet her with complaints and problems.
• Make her comfortable. Have her lean back in a comfortable chair or have her lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for her.
• Arrange her pillow and offer to take off her shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don’t ask her questions about her actions or question her judgment or integrity. Remember, she is the master of the house and as such will always exercise her will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question her.
• A good husband always knows his place.

Such great advice. I just can't tell if it's fake or not. I originally was going to title this "How to please you woman". Ah, good times.