No spell check

I'm going to write this post without spell check. Why you ask? So that people can see just how badly I spell. So far I think that it's pretty good, but most words are in the range of 5 to 6.

Let's tell some stories.

As a kid I was always frustrated with spelling. Teachers response when you asked them to spell something was simply "look it up in the dictionary" or "sound it out". Since English isn't phonetic sounding it out doesn't work too well. Being able to look something up in a dictionary implies (to me) that you you already know how to spell it. It's like asking "how do I drive to Steve's house?" and being told "Just ask Steve. He's at his house.". Useless.

Aside: I think that I'm doing well so far.

I have a memory when I was in grade 3 (?) I had to ask my friend how to spell "car" because I had no idea. I could spell it yesterday. I'd be able to spell it tomorrow. It's just when I needed to spell it then, I couldn't. He laughed. He mocked. I was embarrased, but what can you do? My brain just was not cooperating with me right then.

Today at work I was having a conversation with a co-worker and talking about her kids having to learn spelling. She more or less said that if I have trouble with it, I just have to work a bit harder at it and then I'll figure it out. wtf. Does she not think that I've been working "a bit harder" at it for 30+ years? I write and write and write to practice my communication skills. It still feels like pushing water up hill. I think that I'm slowly making progress. The conversation felt like if you told someone that struggled with their weight all their life to just "stop being fat and you'll feel better".

How do I deal with it? I avoid problem words. Words like unfortunally and inconvience. I use google as a spell checker by putting my word into a sentence since (thank the FSM) it can figure out context. I ask my wife. I make jokes about it. I install spell check plugins before they are part of core systems. I have my tricks and work arounds. But that's what they are.

I just can't see spelling errors. For other people they stick out like a sore thumb. My brain glides over them. People who don't struggle can't fathom what it's like to struggle with an issue. Oh, they might have tons of other things they struggle with, but for some reason the brain doesn't understand that everyone has issues. Or maybe it's their heart that doesn't understand.

*sigh*