I am not Sheldon Cooper

I find it funny when you learn how people see you through what they think that you will like. For instance, some people tell me all about a train expo, or recommend books where the main protagonist is autistic, or just generally assume that I'm brilliant. I'm not. Trust me on this one. I am not Sheldon Cooper. I'm just trying to fake average intelligence and most days I struggle with that.

Yes, I might have some trouble socially sometimes. I mess up my words and have trouble with names. A lot of those issues I think are related to dealing with headaches and being on the introvert side of things. But I wouldn't write me off.

Perhaps it's my fault and how I portray myself in different situations. Like on facebook, I usually post things to do with lego, star wars, or other nerd like stuff. Stuff that interests me. But those aren't the only thing that interest me. I've just chosen that medium for those interests.

It makes me a bit sad because I learn that people know me less than I think they do. Ah well. The most important people know me. The real me.

Tastes better when spoken in hushed terms

Food presentation is funny. It's not just how it smells, or looks, or what kind of dish it's on, but how you describe it as well. It's one of the things that it's better to over describe it than not. Ideally done in hushed tones like if you spoke too loud the food would stand up on the plate, huff, and storm off like some diva. Which is impressive if you picture a salad "walking off set".

I find examples are best. Let's do KD and microwaved hotdogs - a not infrequent meal from my childhood. Remember to read this next section in hushed tones.

Tonight we are having precision curved pasta, served in a bright saffron inspired sauce made with select cheddar cheeses. This is accompanied with locally prepared select cuts of meats that were cooked in an electromagnetic oven.

 Now that sounds pretty good. Much better than the following

We're eating mac and powered cheeze with nuked lips and assholes.

 See, it's totally the hushed tones that sell it.

Focusing in the future

After the film to digital revolution, it seems like we might be on a new change. There is a new light-field camera that even looks like an actual camera and not a toy. I have to admit that I'd be really excited about using it. The ability to re-focus images after the fact, or to change the depth of field seems awesome. The ability to be able to create 3D images, while cool, doesn't seem as useful a thing to me. At least until 3D picture frames become widespread.

Now, there are a couple of things stopping me from going running out to get this camera.

1. 1600$.  Yes, that's not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it's probably a little bit more than my whole current DSLR kit - body, lens, flash and filter.
2. The file format, at least right now, seems to be a closed format that people are reverse engineering to play with. That's not exactly what I want for my precious family photos. I want an open, supported format that I'll be able to use for the next 50+ years. Yes, fifty.
3. Bleeding edge is awesome, but maybe not for me. Not for family photos where the moment is sometimes so fleeting.

80% of my current frustrations with focusing probably could be solved by a camera body with facial - and specifically eye ball - recognition. And / or me just having the correct aperture set and checking my photos as I go a bit more.

There's no where to go than up and improve. ;-)

Those moments

We don't have the cleanest house. Nor the tidiest (by far). The dirty dishes tend to pile up. Our outside Christmas lights are still up and the lawn hasn't been raked in months. There are piles of both clean and dirty laundry. The house plants could do with a bit more TLC. But I'll be damned if people think that I don't have my priorities straight.

I just spent the end of dinner dancing with my girls and Isaac in the kitchen while snacking on goat mozzarella and a wonderfully tender pear while sipping some wine. What would have been a better use of my time, I cannot imagine.

Listening to: The David Wax Museum - The Persimmon Tree

How to say sorry and raising a moral child

There are some things that are just useful that I want to remember.

The first article that I found interesting was a better way to get kids to say sorry. The hollow mumbled "sorry" in the pauses of the sibling on siblings beatings from my childhood never seemed to work.

I’m sorry for...
This is wrong because...
In the future, I will...
Will you forgive me?

Hopefully this will help in our family.

The second was about how to raise a moral child. What I took from the story was to:

• praise effort vs achievement
• praise character ("please be a helper" vs "please help", "don't cheat" vs "don't be a cheater")
• modeling is a better way to influence behaviour than talking about it

There but for the grace of modern medicine, go I

After Laura pointed out something on my back, I was able to get a doctors appointment the next day and had a prescription filled right after that. Less than 24 hours between discovery and treatment and I was on the way to recovery.

I feel so lucky to live in a time with modern medicine. I recognize that in 50 to 100 years what is now practiced will seem quaint and possibly negligent, but it's all I've got for now.

Thinking of my immediate biological family, I think that we'd all be dead by now if it wasn't for modern medicine. Childhood illnesses, illnesses later in life, diabetes, etc. We'd all be dead. Most things can be somewhat simple - here, go on this dose of X for Y days and it will clear it up. It usually is such a small event that it's not mentioned to others, but in the past it would probably have been lucky to have survived.

It's strange to think about the simple things that have kept us alive and healthy - clean water, sanitation, and everything that's encompassed in the term "modern medicine". I feel really lucky, but I recognize that it's not based on luck, but science.

Consolidation

As I mentioned before before, I ended up recovering access to my old tripod account. I had not realized it, but at some point I had ported some of my posts from there to beernut.ca. I had not ported February to May 2003, but I've now done that to here. I didn't read them carefully (hopefully there's nothing too incriminating). It's always amusing to read something that I wrote from so long ago. Different concerns, different dreams, different goals and frustrations. A different me. A Jim that only existed in that time.

In some ways it makes sense that people change over time. Explains things like divorce rates. People are simply not the people that they once were. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. (For the record, Laura has totally made me better.)

As we approach 7 years married (where did the time go?), I looked up the seven-year itch so that I could make a joke about it. That was until I read the biological origin of the phrase - ewww. So, if I make any reference to the t7YI it will strictly in the modern "married too long" sense.

t7YI seems funny to me because the thought that I wouldn't be ecstatic with Laura is... well, laughable. As I think about t7YI, and our family and friends that have had a rougher go of things, it very quickly stops being funny. And that's a downer, so let's end this topic with the happiest thought that I can think about.

My top 3 happy thoughts

To my son

The day that you were born on was technically spring, but it has snowed probably 8 inches of wet snow the day before. It has felt like a long, long winter, but we know spring is finally approaching if for nothing other than that warmth has returned to the sunlight. When your grandmother's water broke for your mother, she was making blueberry pancakes. On the day you decided to make your arrival (one week late!) your mom knew that something was happening. To continue the tradition I made blueberry (and banana) pancakes. Days that start off with maple syrup are good days.

We're still getting to know you, but we can tell that your sister loves you very much. This is hard for her - going from being the only child to having to share her world, her parents, with another is a challenge. I'm sure that she won't take it out on you for the rest of your life. Probably. Oh, and we love you very much too. The thought otherwise hadn't crossed my mind.

I'm asking this across time, but please forgive us for the mistakes that we will inevitably make. We'll do our best with the hopes that it will be good enough. Some times it might not be, but we are human after all.

Welcome to the family little man.

Naps are important at all ages

Made of tougher stuff

If there's one thing that reminds me that the men are the weaker sex would be watching a woman in labour. It's nauseating to see someone in so much pain, yet being unable to do anything about it. It's been said many times, but if men had to have the babies, we would have died out long, long ago.

Right now my back hurts. I feel like a idiot mentioning my discomfort knowing what Laura's just gone through. But, you know, it hurts. Like, a lot. So... ya. Nothing to see here.

And now we are four

A week late, but arrived just the same. Now I have to re-learn all the stuff that I had forgotten. Happy.

The special touch