Am I overreacting about COVID?

I feel I am pretty cautious about COVID. As best as I can figure, I got it while masked at the mall for an hour. Which sucks.

I keep on reading about the long term effects. The long term damage. I worry about it waking up decades later and being an issue like HPV, chicken pox / shingles, or so many other viruses. Like the current theories linking MS, dementia, etc to viruses.

But day to day I feel like people are saying “it’s over” and “I’m not afraid”. I don’t feel like I’m afraid, I feel like I’m managing risk. People are like “let’s go back to the office because it’s not an issue if we are 6’ apart” which doesn’t match the current science at all. I’m frustrated and I start to feel like I’m going insane.

My boss unfortunately lost her husband to a sudden stroke. He was about 10 years older than me. Of course they had COVID recently but are they related? There is no way I am ever going to ask the question. Apparently my sister is dealing with long term brain fog. Why would I want to risk this short term risk when we have no idea about the long term effects. I’ve had shingles. It sucked. I don’t want to find out the cocktail of health issues happens with COVID.

Our provincial government is stupid and I don’t expect a more left party will be too much better. The health care system is in serious trouble and people just care that their luggage is taking a long time at the airport. By the time people realize that they need more nurses / doctors it will be 5-10 years behind. That’s not even accounting for whatever huge issues we will have to deal with due to climate change which is an even bigger issue people are ignoring.

When COVID started my smart coworkers thought we’d be away from the office 2-3 weeks. I said at least 18 months. I’m seeing everyone heading for a cliff and rather than trying to avoid it, I feel like people are steering towards it because that direction feels “more normal”.

I’m stressing out about the idea of going back to work in person and the social pressure to do things like eat together and generally take off masks. When people went to my bosses husband’s funeral, they took off their masks because no one else was wearing one. Currently stroke risk is doubled after COVID infection. I’m not sure if that’s what killed him, but dying mid 50’s sucks. I’d rather not do that. 

I feel like I’m going bonkers. And if I’m right, I’ll take no joy with “I told you so” because people I care about will suffer. I feel that there is no good outcome. It all sucks.