One of the things that I find different now that I'm a parent is that I have nightmare scenarios running through my head a lot of the time. I can only assume that this is "normal". Things like: if Alice gets out of the house and I back the car up without seeing her; passing out while holding Isaac and dropping him down the stairs; etc. It's exhausting sometimes, but I figure that's just the way that things are going to be. Laura tells me that it's healthy so that I can anticipate these possible nightmares and be able to prevent them from happening. Maybe.
In some ways it also feels like I've lost my babies a dozen times a day too. Maybe I just need to use this as an excuse to hug them more. I can live with that.
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