It's been hard for the last 5 years. I don't expect it to get super easy in the next 5. Maybe just different. Maybe we'll start to get more sleep and won't repeat ourselves so much because of our inability to make memories.
I gave Alice a shower tonight where she screamed and fought and did everything that she could to fight me on her getting clean. Why did she do this? Well, she ignored Laura's repeated prompts to go to the shower, Lucy needed to nurse, so I had to step in. She screamed and screamed because it was me. The worst part is that I don't think that she really cares. I think that she's just trying to create some control over what's happening and the lack of that control is driving her nuts.
I feel like a shitty parent and shitty person.
It was like -20C out today and I drove Isaac to soccer class. Since you aren't supposed to have a coat that compresses we have a "car coat" for him. I feel like a shitty parent for having him in a coat that's totally not suitable for the cold. I try to double coat him, but I feel like I'm failing him if he's not in the warmest thing I can put him in. And I feel like I'm failing him if I'm not making him as safe as possible in the car.
And then there's the shitty traffic and the way people are driving shittly. Shit. Shitty shit shit. How can I keep my kids safe when the dumbasses around me are doing dumb stuff. I can only guard against so much.
But do you know what would solve that problem? Self driving cars. Boom. I had to add that so when Laura reads this she'll roll her eyes.
I generally had a good day with everyone. It just sucks when it ends with so much screaming. And not the good kind.
No comments:
Post a Comment