Blogging is dead

It's dead Jim.

People aren't blogging like they used to. People have relented their control for ease of use. Almost no one blogs anymore, not when there is social media. Not when you don't have to pay for hosting, admin your own software, pay for a host name, etc. A while ago I moved to blogger, but it seems like a product that google doesn't care about. Features aren't being created. They've remove their iOS app from the store and it no longer works on the latest OS.

It may be something that makes a comeback, but I think that it's done for. Doesn't mean that I won't continue to blog while I sit on my front porch and complain about the neighborhood kids not staying off my lawn. It's just that people have moved to writing rants etc in Facebook or Twitter (storified of course).

I'm now trying a new app for my phone that I paid for since it's supposed to be the best one. The funny part? Uploading images is, and has been for a while, broken. And it's still my best option for blogging from my phone.

Long term I don't know if I'll be able to stay with blogger or if google will suddenly kill it. I just know that since I've been blogging it has helped me and I enjoy it. I like the record of who I was in The Past, not just what I looked / sounded like. What brought worry, joy, sadness, and reflection.

It's dead Jim, just not to me.

I love my family

Well, I guess the title says it all. I can stop writing.

But I won't.

Alice is so bright and proud of doing a good job. She constantly comes home with filled out sticker charts and items from the prize box. We asked why she's good all the time at school and she told us that they'd call her parents if she was bad. When we pointed out that we are her parents and would like her to be good at home too, she shrugged. Maybe we'll have to call Mr. Scott. The other day her teacher gave her grade 1 work and she did it and she was ever so proud. Beaming. I sent an email to her teacher thanking him for giving her the challenge.

Isaac is also bright, gifted in sports, and is a super cuddler. He doesn't just like kicking a ball - that would be too boring. He likes throwing it at the ground and kicking it at the first bounce. Today he did that with a large bouncy ball, kicked it straight up, then caught it, and then laughed and laughed. I think that he's already more gifted at soccer, and well, any team sport, than I am.

Lucy? Well, she's starting to show us who she is. Right now she's sleeping more than Isaac. She gives the best smiles, even when things are not perfect. If you just put her on the change table, even when she's still wet and uncomfortable, she beams. She's fuzzy and has her siblings talent for cuddles.

Laura is simply the best. She knows how my brain works better than I do and helps me muddle through life. I'd like to think that I help her too - finding keys, lost shoes, and where we put the kids. I could fill libraries while writing how lovely Laura is.

It's a good family. I think that I'll keep it.
:-D

Don't wreck it, don't touch it

The other day I bought a couple of hockey sticks for Laura and myself (9$ each) so we can easily play with the kids. So they don't end up in the pile of stuff at the neighbours when the kids all play together, I've been writing our names on the outside toys.

So I took out a super-indelible-never-come-off-till-you're-dead-and-maybe-even-later marker and wrote our last name on the stick. Alice was bouncing around wanting to use it. I said no and indicated that I should be the one writing on it. Then I relented and let her do the names on the kids stick. But now she had a taste for it and wanted more. She wanted to draw a picture on my nice new stick. I told her definitely not. I didn't tell her that I didn't want my stick to have weird pictures on it, but I thought it.

Then I paused, took a breath, and thought some more.

And you know what? I'd love for my daughter to draw a picture on my stick. To be able to look at this stick and remember her how she is at this age. This bright eyed, sometimes infuriating, smart as anything, bright little girl. My little girl. Drawing a picture on it made her happy, and that makes me happy.

You know that it's a good stick because it's got three flowers on it. The flowers remind me of something from a Mario game.

Adventures outside

I love playing with the kids outside. I'd not normally make it out except for the helpful prodding by Laura. I might resist, but I (almost) always love our adventures. I definitely love parts of every adventure.

Sometimes we don't have to go far. Just to the closest green space, which may be nestled beside the queensway.

You can always seem to find wildflowers to pick

Some are simpler than others

This sums up kite flying perfectly - Alice actually chased down the kite and brought it back

How am I going to do this?

Parts of today were great. The end with the kids didn't go so well. I struggle with them when they are 2 and 4. How am I going to be able to handle them when they are 16 and 14?

I woke up in a blue mood. Having a difficult time with the kids just adds to it. Maybe being in a crappy mood causes the kids to misbehave? Ugg.

I just feel like a total failure. I know that I'm not. I know that I'll probably feel better tomorrow. It's just... It's hard to change my brain.

The worst part. There's no more pie or cookies.
Queue Darth Vader saying: Noooooooooooooo!!!

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

I have problems with change sometimes. Change like my kids growing up. It's not that I don't want them to grow up, it's just sad when some things end. Like daycare this week for the kids. Like the other two day cares that they have been with. I guess I just get a bit sad when each chapter finishes. It doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying the book.

Currently I'm a bit sad about two friends we've had for a while: Mr Bear and Mr Ducky. They aren't played with anymore. They're relegated to the basement. They used to be constant companions, but no more.

I miss playing with them.

I shouldn't be sad. It just means that we're at some new beginning. It's okay to be sad and happy at the same time, right?

Just chilling with Mr Bear

Mr Ducky knows the best angle for the camera

Balancing the risk

Today was the last day of daycare for the kids and work for me. We're off now.

The day started off like most, but today it was tragic. When we had almost gotten to the river Laura texted me that a cyclist had died. This is at the intersection that I turn with the kids twice a day. An intersection that someone had run a red yesterday.

It's horrible.

I debated a bunch if I was going to say anything to the kids. About the time we got to the canal I told them. They don't really understand death, but I wanted to explain. I wanted them to know why we were changing our route, why the road was closed, why the police. I wanted them to know why I was upset.

My bike rides with the kids are my favourite part of the day. How often on a normal commute with people do they stop and watch a swan? Or count ducks? Or exchange waves with strangers on a tourist boat? Or talk about all the colours of the things that they can see. I love my ride with them. I feel, I hope, that I'm being safe enough.

But that woman today probably felt she was being safe too.

I'm angry. I'm upset. I'm sad.

I'm worried.

Roads shouldn't be a danger like this. This isn't right. This needs to be fixed.