Saturday, 19 April 2003

2003.04.19 @ 2135

It's Easter now... the bunny is coming. My sister has informed me that I have to be good for the Easter bunny to bring me candy. That means that I cannot tickle her. *sigh* It sure is a tough life.

One of the things that has been weighing on my mind lately has been the topic of one of my lectures from SEG 2910. It was all about how it is not important what our decisions are so much, as how the decisions that we made change us. The decision has a direct impact upon the person who made it. How if you decide to speed on your way to work today, the first time you decide to break the law is a big, hard decision. But it sets a habbit, which can become a behaviour. Pretty soon, you won't even have to think about breaking the law. It won't occur to you to do anything else. Or, like if you decide to try and be nice and keep on making plugs for your friend's blog...

The thing about this is, the decisions that I have already made are what has made me into the person that I am today. There are many decisions that I have made that I wish to take back, to do things differently, to... well, to fix what I have done. And I don't think that I have the ability to do that. I think that I have always had an external locus of control, but the more that I think about it, the more that I believe that in the end, it is all just internal. I have the power to change who I am to who I think that I should be. I am just not sure that I am ready for this power.

Listening to: Rage Against The Machine - Wake Up

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