10 Reasons why toddlers are like tourists

I had an epiphany the other day: toddlers are just like (rude) tourists.

1. They babble along in a language that you don't understand.
2. If they are using words that they think you should understand but don't, they say them louder. And louder. And louder.
3. You can partially communicate with them, but only a few words. And their accent is horrible.
4. They don't understand the local eating customs - don't put your spaghetti on your head, food on the floor, and get this gleam in their eye when they look like they are about to break something, etc.
5. Your bathroom toilet is unknown to them. They are more likely to poop on the floor or their pants rather than use a toilet.
6. They seem to operate in a different timezone. They need a nap in the middle of the day and they're likely to be awake in the middle of the night.
7. You can't trust them not to get to the store or go to the museum by themselves. It's almost like they don't read the language or follow simple signs.
8. They expect you to cater to their every whim. If you do not, or not in the time frame they were expecting, they totally freak out. But it's usually fake and can be turned off when you bend to their will.
9. They try to get over the communication issues by smiling and tilting their head.
10. They seem to spend money like mad. Unfortunately unlike real tourists, it's your money, not theirs.

Can you direct me to the local discotheque?