So tired

Lack of sleep can really mess you up. Currently I am messed up. I'm angry, sad, tired, irritable, tired, twitchy, and oh ya tired.

I need to get back to the whole "sleep when they sleep" thing. 12 solid hours here I come! Just not tonight. 

One point five years

Well, it's been 1.5 years since our 3 person family expanded to a four person family. It's a lot more complicated with 2 kids. Mostly because it requires you to keep them more than arms reach from one another during bouts of hanger or sleepiness. It's also really cool. Today Alice was showing Isaac where there were puddles to splash in and playing with him on the bed.

1.5 years old is also a really good age. The kid is a lot more interactive, you can go for walks while they hold your hands and you can describe what you see to each other. I think that when I'm out with just Isaac I get +20 social points while walking around. Everyone loves cute little kids.

Sometimes I get frustrated with things, but I look at that as a failing on my part rather than the kids. You can't expect a little kid to not throw food on the floor. I have no idea how the daycare does it.

I'm still having fun. And that's huge.

Out for a walk with mommy

It's up to us to save the world and put out this huge fire before it spreads!

Sunshine in her fancy clothes on the swing

Supermoon lunar eclipse

I don't find myself looking at the night sky as often as I think that I should. I'm totally aware that there is currently a rare lunar eclipse going on right now but I'm inside sitting on the couch. Hey, it's a bit cloudy.

The next time a lunar eclipse happens when the moon is close like this is supposed to be like in 2033. That's... so far away yet I'm sure it will go by in a blink. What will we be like? Where will we be? How much fun will have had? How much loss? It's funny how an infrequent celestial event will focus your thoughts. Will I be staring up at the sky in Star Wars crocs with Laura while we sip tea and complain about the clouds? That seems the most likely outcome.

Here's to many more laps around the local star and the dance of the planets and moons.

Jim's Theory of Assholes

When reading the news, people usually self identify as a member of a group. When someone from another opposing group does something they don't like, they inaccurately paint the whole group with the same brush. I'm sure there is a fancy name for this. Groups include race, bikes vs cars, religion, political lines, etc.

But I have a theory. It's that people are people, in about the same ratios, throughout time, race, religion, or any other diving factor. I call this: Jim's Theory of Assholes™

 If the broader group you self identify with has 5% assholes, they you can assume any other similarly sized group would have about 5% assholes. Same with selfless people, mean people, happy people, etc in their own specific ratios.

So the next time you see someone from another group doing something you think is horrible, don't assume that everyone is that group is horrible. Just think that you're seeing one of that groups Asshole Representatives (AR). Any sufficiently large enough group has a well staffed AR group. They probably liaise with your AR group and go to picnics together.

Sword of Testocles

Many people are familiar with the story of the Sword of Damocles and how Damocles had a sword hanging over him by a single horse hair and felt in constant danger. That's how our ibert child seat bracket makes me feel when there is not actually a child seat on the bike. It's a metal spike about 1 cm square (but ends in a bit of a point!) that attaches to the steering column and points straight back. It feels and looks like a 10 inch dagger pointed straight at my junk when I bike.

To say that I bike a lot more carefully might be an understatement.

The other day Laura asked to switch bikes on days she's off so she can have the bike with the ibert attachment. I might have been a bit enthusiastic when I agreed to it. I prefer my junk unskewered.

How quickly we get used to it

It was for only a very short time that I was taking the kids downtown for daycare. Now I'm just taking Isaac because Alice is in school. We talk about what we see, I try to get him to say more words, we point out every duck, dog, or squirrel. Maybe it's my imagination, but I think he says "DAK" for duck and "DAW" for dog.

Today was a normal Tuesday where Laura was off. Today was her first day alone with him and I had the freedom to bike in all by myself. It was great. At first. Then I started to miss him. There was no one to point out every dog. I had to say "Daw. Daw. DAAAWWWW!" in my head. Of course Alice wasn't there either. There was no one to sing "Do you want to build a snowman?" over, and over, and over.

It made me a bit sad.

Biking by myself... I'm not sure it will be the same.

First day of after school program

Today was the first day of a new normal: me picking up Isaac and then heading to Alice's school to pick her up. I left work on time, took my time to be safe, had good weather, and everyone was happy. I'm looking at today being a longer case scenario. Started to pack up at 4pm at work. Set up my bike with the ibert, biked / walked over to Isaac's daycare, packed my bags, picked him up, loaded him up and biked home. Put him directly from the ibert into the van (he runs off to play otherwise), put the bike away, tossed my bags into the van and drove off. Aprox 4:51 (!). Got to Alice's school 5:07, parked too far away, found were she was, took the kids back to the car parked too far away, got home aprox 5:40. Started a "fast" dinner, then bedtime routine.

I was actually thinking that it would be a lot closer to an hour than 1:40. :-/ The good news is that I think (hope) that it will just get quicker. Maybe not a lot quicker, but a bit. I made a "fast" dinner tonight of tofu and bok choy, but it's still slow. I'm considering having a ready-made meal of leftovers.

That is all for now. Now is time for hugs.

What's the lie?

Alice isn't even 4 and I'm having a hard time figuring out if she lying sometimes. For her first day of school she said she saw her old playschool teacher Jen. It's possible, but I would be surprised. So we don't really know. 

Her lies are coming faster and faster. Sometimes the only notice you have is the delay or the smile. We are probably going to have to crack down soon before it becomes a big problem.

Who should I blame for this bevaviour? Her mother clearly.

Wait, no. Maybe me. I like telling her "stories", which can be viewed as a lie. She'll ask if I'm telling her the truth and I'll ask her what she thinks. She usually gets it correct (because I'm lying). What I'm trying to develope is her critical thinking skills and for finding the truth. I think that's an important life skill, but maybe I'm just messing her up and shooting myself in the foot.

First day of school

Well, I guess we did it. We successfully raised a child to put her on a school bus and have her at school for the day. With the screaming and fighting to get her out the door (how she often reacts to new things / things that make her nervous), I have to say I was quite happy for her to be on the bus. But around noon I was really starting to miss her. Our baby, now going to school. Where did the last almost-four years go?

You can tell she had trouble too. She said "Did you miss me? I didn't miss you. [Unintelligible] asked if I missed my mom and dad and I said no." Ya... she'll do fine.

I think that Alice really does well in a classroom setting. Much better than for just us. People say that kids behave worse for their parents than anyone else. I believe them.

Today they had just half the kids there. Monday it's the full group. I'm assuming that she'll have some ups and downs, but I think that she'll do well. I'm expecting the longer days where she stays for the after school program will be the hardest. I'm guessing Thursday will be the crappiest because she'll have been going to school for 4 days in a row, second late day in a row.

I think that a lot of parents have a super difficult time with the first day. I'm... fine. Totally fine. Weird. Not what I was expecting.

Excited about getting the the bus

Ran on the bus so fast had to be called back for a photo

Dinner in time

I enjoy making my family dinner. Sometimes I'm just too tired, too late, the kids crying too much to do a good job. Last week for dinner they are crackers, scrambled eggs and nuked mix veg. The veg ended up on the ground. :-/

Tonight I had more time. I awoke from a nap and made dinner all bbq'ed since the humidix is high 30's. It was glorious.

Sweet potatoe pre-cooked in microwave, grilled Swiss chard with kidney beans and feta and a custom dressing, and soy sauce chicken theighs. Alice said "This dinner is super banana good. You should do this again". That of course is high praise from a 3yo.

It feels nice to have enough time to cook a meal my family deserves.

I can make time now

I know I should spend more time focusing on work, but sometimes when Laura and the kids are close to my office I take off a little early to hang with them. Why? Well because when I see Alice she runs towards me and says "Pick me up and 'ping me around!". Isaac walks / runs over to me and demands "na na na!".

They are little but won't be for long. I'm sure before I'm ready to stop doing it, they won't want to dance "na na na" (a waltz), or "wheee" (outwards facing seated spin) or "bwa ah ah" (flipped upside down in a fake "drop"). I can always work more later, or when they are in bed. I never thought that I'd say this, but they are growing up too fast.

Tempus fugit.

Time flies unless you can stand on a rock in a lake. Then you're good.

Waves of sadness

It's my fault really. I do stupid things like check the news. Now, this information isn't widely known, but "the news" generally is just a bunch of bad shit that doesn't happen often.

Right now the thing playing out is the Syrian crisis. Specifically about how all these people are trying to leave their country any way they can, including in boats. When this kind of thing happens, people usually die because something always goes sideways.

Right now it's a photo of a 3 year old boy named Alan Kurdi. The picture... Alice is 3. The boy on the beach looks like how our kids sleep sometimes. I... my brain... I can't process it. I feel like I'm just crushed by a wall of sadness when I see that. I try to avoid the news, but at some point I look again.

It's so horrible.

The worst part is there are about 200,000 other horrible stories.

I'm going to go shut off my brain as a defense mechanism.